A poem I wrote ahead of Eating Disorder Awareness Week (27th February - 5th March 2023).
Skinny Love, Full of Hate
Skinny love, full of hate
Fork pushed around the plate
Whisper of skin
Lunch in the bin
Tears at the table
Wish I was able
The begs, the pleas
The presumption of ease
Just eat! Just eat!
Logic obsolete
Internal screams
Puncture my dreams
Nights shiver with regret
Forever in debt
Just one more mile
Then maybe a smile?
Day by day
I’m slipping away
This cracked mirror of reality
Forgets my prior individuality
Living a lie
Who am I?
The search party doesn’t arrive,
How am I still alive?
Skin and bone
All alone
Rage. Loathing. Panic.
Devastation. Turmoil. Manic.
The daily fear at the scales
Progress de-rails
Pressure. Perfection applied
Ride the tide
Years wasted
Emaciated
‘I’m fine’ -
That lethal line
Self destruction
Mind, abduction
Head first
Life, coerced.
***
Cara Jasmine Bradley ©